For a lot of you, a portion of your lifestyle is spent in fantasy. Some more than others, but we all do it. (Yes, even me!) Today's topic is more on the tougher side of reality for some people.
I get emails from couples, and sometimes either the male or female, expressing concerns that the wife doesn't feel she is attractive enough to live the cuckolding lifestyle. My natural response to this is to tell them not to think that way! ...But then I think, how can I say that? I think that way (about myself) too.
This is one of those tricky little fears we all have. We think we are the only people that feel that way and I have never really been able to figure out why. There are so many things that only happen to random people, and if we are one of those random people we assume it happens to everyone. Being self conscious isn't one of those things. It happens to everyone. Maybe not all the time and certainly to different degrees, but it still happens. I am not going to say you women need to stop, because I have no intentions of doing so. But what do we do about it?
I would recommend first, not allowing those fears and insecurities to control you. Yes there are days that I am worried about one thing or another, but I still live the way I want. Also, if you can't lose it (these feelings you're having), use it. Take advantage of the fact that you are being overly conscious of yourself and use that to help you improve the things that you want to! Not in some unhealthy, obsessive way but, whether it's working out a little more, or coming up with a new schedule for exfoliating, or even finding a new makeup style - use those concerns. When we put a little effort into ourselves, it gives us a confidence boost. Bottom line is you should still live your life the way you want!
Desires, likes, and dislikes are all about perception, just like everything else in life. I don't like onions, my husband loves them. You may think your nose is too big, but 1 out of every 4 people adore it. Think your boobs are too small or too large? Funny thing! I actually have this issue and it comes into play from time to time in emails that I receive. It's no secret that I want larger boobs, but I get messages every week telling me not to, because they love them. I'm not trying to go off on a rant about me, just pointing out that just because you don't like something about you, doesn't mean there aren't hundreds or thousands of people out there who think you are a perfect person, and want nothing more than to have you!
I get messages telling me how bad someone wants to be with me, and then the next message is from someone telling me they're amazed I can find one guy to have sex with me. You're not for everyone, and neither am I. It's the way the real world works. Be confident in who YOU are, and have an understanding that not everyone will like the 'you' they see. But you should also expect to find some that absolutely love you! It comes with the territory of being a sexual person and even more so if you're confident about it.
If this is the life you want, live it. If you want to be a Cuckoldress, be one in the way you choose; you shouldn't tell yourself you can't be a true Cuckoldress because you don't think you look the part.
The truth is there is no "part", that's just fantasy. Be real. Be YOU.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
She loves me! She loves me...not?
I like to try to focus certain blogs on emails or questions I receive from readers and viewers. Most of the time, because I don't actually have the questions stockpiled, it is hard for me to create the topics for my blog. It's not that the information isn't there, it's just that it doesn't always occur to me as topics people would be interested in... this week's blog holds very true to that. What I find very interesting about it is that I don't get this question as often as you might think I do, but within two hours I received the same question from two separate people. They were obviously worded differently, but they both boil down to this;
I really want my wife to cuckold me, she is very interested in living this lifestyle. I am just so worried that she will find another guy, like him more, and then leave me.
For there to only be two sentences above, there is actually a lot happening in that thought process. If you are in this situation and you have brought this to your wife or she you, then there is already something missing from, or in the least something that could be better about your sexual relationship. Odds are if you're thinking it, so is the other half of your marriage/relationship. (Not ALWAYS the case, but it happens quite often.) The problem is that there is a flaw in the way men think about this lifestyle. Because they only want one partner, they can't help but see the world though those glasses, and naturally assume their wife or girlfriend would be thinking with the exact same set of views. The issue lies in the first sentence: "She is very interested in living this lifestyle." Meaning she doesn't have the desire to just have one man, she wants multiple, for whatever reason or reasons she sees fit. On top of many other things, the desire to be a Cuckoldress is the desire to not be constrained by the social rules of only being with one person at a time, whether it be strictly sexual, relationship based, or both. She wants to have her cake and eat it too; she is interested is keeping the same relationship she has now with you and expanding it, not replacing it. I'm not saying this never happens, but when it does it happens because of other external circumstances, like if you're an asshole or abusive, or you just can't get along (or a multitude of other possible reasons), then yes she may leave you, that would have happened regardless of cuckolding. If you make her happy, share the same interests, and get along, then why would she have any reason or circumstances to leave? Make sense? No?
How about this. You have a Porsche and you've had it for 3 years, she runs great, looks awesome, you know exactly how far to push the clutch for optimum shifting, you're comfortable driving it at fast speeds, etc, ... but she just doesn't excite you when you drive her anymore. (Now in this analogy, money is no object.) So you go to the Audi store and pick out a brand new car. She's gorgeous! You sit down and feel the excitement, the newness of it all. But what about the Porsche? No one is saying you can't have two cars, you don't have any financial reasons to get rid of it, you can be the owner of a Porsche and an Audi. Why would you even contemplate getting rid of one of them? Cake and eating it too.
But Jinxy! Real life and cars are two totally different things! Yep, I knew that... Think about it, though. If you're looking for that extra bit of excitement, but still have an attachment (relationship) with the current 'model', how is this a bad thing? ;)
Most couples entering into a Cuckolding lifestyle are so willing to shed those absurd rules that society dictates to us about what defines a marriage, and what is and isn't tawdry. We often times retain certain pieces that we don't realize are part of that way of looking at things. Some people have the fears of being replaced, because that's what you believe should happen, but for the woman in this situation it never crossed her mind to replace you. Why do something like that when she can have you and anyone else she wants?
Women who are open to and embrace this lifestyle usually learn pretty quickly that having the best of both worlds is a million times better than having to pick one or the other.
I really want my wife to cuckold me, she is very interested in living this lifestyle. I am just so worried that she will find another guy, like him more, and then leave me.
For there to only be two sentences above, there is actually a lot happening in that thought process. If you are in this situation and you have brought this to your wife or she you, then there is already something missing from, or in the least something that could be better about your sexual relationship. Odds are if you're thinking it, so is the other half of your marriage/relationship. (Not ALWAYS the case, but it happens quite often.) The problem is that there is a flaw in the way men think about this lifestyle. Because they only want one partner, they can't help but see the world though those glasses, and naturally assume their wife or girlfriend would be thinking with the exact same set of views. The issue lies in the first sentence: "She is very interested in living this lifestyle." Meaning she doesn't have the desire to just have one man, she wants multiple, for whatever reason or reasons she sees fit. On top of many other things, the desire to be a Cuckoldress is the desire to not be constrained by the social rules of only being with one person at a time, whether it be strictly sexual, relationship based, or both. She wants to have her cake and eat it too; she is interested is keeping the same relationship she has now with you and expanding it, not replacing it. I'm not saying this never happens, but when it does it happens because of other external circumstances, like if you're an asshole or abusive, or you just can't get along (or a multitude of other possible reasons), then yes she may leave you, that would have happened regardless of cuckolding. If you make her happy, share the same interests, and get along, then why would she have any reason or circumstances to leave? Make sense? No?
How about this. You have a Porsche and you've had it for 3 years, she runs great, looks awesome, you know exactly how far to push the clutch for optimum shifting, you're comfortable driving it at fast speeds, etc, ... but she just doesn't excite you when you drive her anymore. (Now in this analogy, money is no object.) So you go to the Audi store and pick out a brand new car. She's gorgeous! You sit down and feel the excitement, the newness of it all. But what about the Porsche? No one is saying you can't have two cars, you don't have any financial reasons to get rid of it, you can be the owner of a Porsche and an Audi. Why would you even contemplate getting rid of one of them? Cake and eating it too.
But Jinxy! Real life and cars are two totally different things! Yep, I knew that... Think about it, though. If you're looking for that extra bit of excitement, but still have an attachment (relationship) with the current 'model', how is this a bad thing? ;)
Most couples entering into a Cuckolding lifestyle are so willing to shed those absurd rules that society dictates to us about what defines a marriage, and what is and isn't tawdry. We often times retain certain pieces that we don't realize are part of that way of looking at things. Some people have the fears of being replaced, because that's what you believe should happen, but for the woman in this situation it never crossed her mind to replace you. Why do something like that when she can have you and anyone else she wants?
Women who are open to and embrace this lifestyle usually learn pretty quickly that having the best of both worlds is a million times better than having to pick one or the other.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Please answer honestly, and list reasons!
Many of you have suggested and requested, so now it's time to put a little research to it.
I want to write a book in 2011. My question is, what type of book would my fans and readers like to experience first?
My Cuckolding 101 video series has been gaining more and more viewers. There are many questions in comments, messages, and emails about how to get started, or how can they can deal with a certain situation. These inquiries are always answered with a lot of thought, and I believe the person(s) on the other end can tell I take their questions seriously. Putting all of those ideas from the videos and even from my blog posts together in a good orderly fashion will probably take more time and effort than I realize, but most of it is already written in some form. I think this book would be the quickest to write. (Hey, just keeping it real here.)
However, so many are interested in MY story, how *I* got into cuckolding and how things started off for me and my husband. I've revealed so much of myself (in the blog posts and in the 101 videos), but people always want more. I think this would be the more interesting of the two options, but would obviously take longer to write.
My dear readers, friends, and cuckolding companions, which would you rather read? Or which do you believe would be the better book? Please share your thoughts and reasons behind your choice. =)
I want to write a book in 2011. My question is, what type of book would my fans and readers like to experience first?
My Cuckolding 101 video series has been gaining more and more viewers. There are many questions in comments, messages, and emails about how to get started, or how can they can deal with a certain situation. These inquiries are always answered with a lot of thought, and I believe the person(s) on the other end can tell I take their questions seriously. Putting all of those ideas from the videos and even from my blog posts together in a good orderly fashion will probably take more time and effort than I realize, but most of it is already written in some form. I think this book would be the quickest to write. (Hey, just keeping it real here.)
However, so many are interested in MY story, how *I* got into cuckolding and how things started off for me and my husband. I've revealed so much of myself (in the blog posts and in the 101 videos), but people always want more. I think this would be the more interesting of the two options, but would obviously take longer to write.
My dear readers, friends, and cuckolding companions, which would you rather read? Or which do you believe would be the better book? Please share your thoughts and reasons behind your choice. =)
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