Straight talk

As promised via my YouTube video, here’s another blog post!

A newcomer to cuckolding/femdom asked if it was natural to feel guilty at first.  Talking (online, in person, over the phone, etc) to other men, especially about sex or sexual activities, is something you just don’t normally do if you’re in a committed relationship, not without your significant other present! Such activities would surely hurt the other person’s feelings and possibly ruin the relationship!  (Or so we fear.)

Something I stress to EVERY man/woman/couple that has a question or concern about this (or any) lifestyle, you must be committed to having OPEN and HONEST communication.  Not just about sex or the hotwifing/cuckolding side of life, but about everything, be it work, family, friends, household chores, hobbies, football, makeup, WHATEVER.  The more you tell each other, the less room there is for guilt.  It’s as simple as that.  If you start feeling any kind of guilt, then you probably need to sit down and have a serious conversation about what it is that is making you feel that way. The second you start keeping any kind of secrets, hard feelings, or frustrations from each other, it rocks the boat.  I’m pretty sure we would all prefer smooth sailing!

If you have wholeheartedly decided as a couple that this is the lifestyle you want to pursue, or at least try out, then you should put the needs of the other before your own.  The ultimate way to do that is honesty.  Your man is concerned about your sexual satisfaction, and wants you to be happy.  It’s certainly one of the most thoughtful gifts a man could give his woman!  (…the freedom to have sex anytime she wishes.)  We love our men, and we want them to be satisfied as well.  Listen to what he wants from this type of relationship.  If he is excited helping you choose men to go out with, then make sure he’s either with you while you’re “browsing” or have him do some of the searching on his own.  (If he keeps choosing men you’d keep away from, then maybe you need to discuss exactly what kind of man gets your motor running…) If he only wants to know (before hand) when/where, and not necessarily the who, then give him as many of the details as he needs to be content.  Yes, it’s mostly about OUR fun, thrills and satisfaction, but be a good partner and keep him as involved as possible.

Personally, I know that in the beginning I felt some guilt.  Here I was, a married woman, going out and letting loose with a wild streak, without my husband!  It ate away at me for a while.  I would bring it up to him, and he would always calm my worries and fears.  We would talk about every last thing that was on my mind, while he took the same opportunity to pose new questions and bring up any thoughts he had on his mind.  Many nights we wouldn’t get to sleep until well after2am due to these conversations.  Yeah, I might have been a bit more grumpy in the morning, but both of our minds were at ease… we are certainly a much happier couple.

Honesty is always the best policy.  :)