Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Mind boggling stuff-a-luff.
If you sit for a second and really think about what cuckolding is, you come up with all kinds of questions. I don’t mean the literal definition; I mean just what cuckolding IS. The woman in the relationship is free to act single, be sexy, have fun, flirt with people, have sex, go out anytime she wants… all the while having someone at home that she loves and that loves her back, takes care of her financially, she has a secure relationship with him. That sounds like it’s every woman’s dream life! Doing as she pleases with whomever she pleases while having security and comfort with her partner. It doesn’t sound like every man’s dream by any means. What man is secure enough in their relationship to give his woman the keys to her “freedom”? Letting her do whatever she wishes as long as she comes home to him.
It is really mind-boggling to think that there are so many men that want this type of lifestyle, for whatever reason, yet so few women that want to cuckold their men. How can that be? Like I said, it doesn’t sound like a man’s dream but it certainly sounds like every woman would want to live a life of fun, sex, and security! Why are more men interested in cuckolding than women? I have a few thoughts on it.
Women seem to be more sexually confined by society. We’ve yet to have a woman president in the United States, but not for lack of trying. Women didn’t even get the right to vote in the United States until 1920! (Again, not for lack of trying.) In Victorian times, women weren’t allowed sexual satisfaction and were even blamed for the moral decline of society if they happened to enjoy themselves. They weren’t allowed to have sex unless it was for the purpose of procreation. Imagine being shamed because you liked sex!
Men aren’t as hindered by sexuality in itself. There are some really twisted double standards in our society. If a single woman is with a couple guys in the span of a weekend, she’s deemed a slut. A single man that gets two different ladies in a weekend? Way to go, man! *fist bump* …know what I mean? People expect men to be horn-dogs, to go out trying to find as many different women to sleep with as they can get their hands on. But people expect women to be proper, beautiful, reserved, and not sexual or even promiscuous.
If a guy has what my husband likes to call a “good threesome” (2 women, 1 man) then he’s the king. He can brag to every guy he knows about his experience. But do you think either of those women will go bragging to her friends? It’s highly unlikely. She doesn’t want the dirty looks or the ridicule that would come from those that don’t understand. Women have been told most of their life to repress their sexual feelings. We’re not supposed to talk about sex, which leaves us feeling ashamed and confused because we have those feelings and experiences, but no one to talk to about them. Women are still sexually repressed and don’t understand their sexuality.
Most women don’t even understand orgasms, or have never really had one. Obviously, men don’t have this problem. They know what it is and how to achieve it. According to this study, 10-15% of women have NEVER had an orgasm. A good 30% have no idea where their clitoris is! In fact, more men in this study knew where the clitoris was than women. (Come on, ladies!) Check out this study and the really thoughtful comments. It may even prompt you to do some self-exploration, ladies… We can’t be scared of our bodies and learning what feels good. Once we learn what WE like, we can help our men to understand what we like. Again, as my husband says from time to time “You don’t know what night is because you’ve never seen day. You don’t know what bad is because you’ve never seen good.” If you don’t know what an orgasm is or how to achieve one, how do you know what you’re missing? ;)
I’m so glad that the world is changing, but it takes people a long time to be more accepting – or even ‘numb’ to things. Take all the celebrities and their sex scandals. Lots of women have a sex tape that has or eventually make its rounds. The first few were shocking! But the more it happens, the more we expect it. How many men have been with numerous women only to be forced to admit it years later? Sure, when it happens the first few times we as a society are SHOCKED. Truth is, it’s so common nowadays, we barely pay attention to it. “Oh, so-and-so slept with other women? Wonder how many come out to say they’ve been with him too.” And that’s the end of the discussion. It’s not as bothersome to us, we’ve been exposed to the scenarios and since it’s not the first one to ever happen, it doesn’t shock us. The more it happens, the more we’re expecting it to happen.
Women are incredibly sexy creatures but have been told by our families, friends, and society that we shouldn’t be sexual; there is so much confusion and no one to help them sort through it. The more women understand their sexuality and that it is perfectly FINE to be a sexual being, I think we’ll start to see more women opening their minds to relationships such as cuckolding or exploring fetishes as well as finding ways to spice things up a bit. Ladies, take long, good look at yourself. Do you enjoy sex? Would you enjoy MORE sex? What about having BETTER sex? In this day and age, we can’t be overly worried about what society or the public is going to think. In many cases, they’ll never know anything about our sex life! There are ways to have your cake and eat it too. You just have to look for them. ;)
It is really mind-boggling to think that there are so many men that want this type of lifestyle, for whatever reason, yet so few women that want to cuckold their men. How can that be? Like I said, it doesn’t sound like a man’s dream but it certainly sounds like every woman would want to live a life of fun, sex, and security! Why are more men interested in cuckolding than women? I have a few thoughts on it.
Women seem to be more sexually confined by society. We’ve yet to have a woman president in the United States, but not for lack of trying. Women didn’t even get the right to vote in the United States until 1920! (Again, not for lack of trying.) In Victorian times, women weren’t allowed sexual satisfaction and were even blamed for the moral decline of society if they happened to enjoy themselves. They weren’t allowed to have sex unless it was for the purpose of procreation. Imagine being shamed because you liked sex!
Men aren’t as hindered by sexuality in itself. There are some really twisted double standards in our society. If a single woman is with a couple guys in the span of a weekend, she’s deemed a slut. A single man that gets two different ladies in a weekend? Way to go, man! *fist bump* …know what I mean? People expect men to be horn-dogs, to go out trying to find as many different women to sleep with as they can get their hands on. But people expect women to be proper, beautiful, reserved, and not sexual or even promiscuous.
If a guy has what my husband likes to call a “good threesome” (2 women, 1 man) then he’s the king. He can brag to every guy he knows about his experience. But do you think either of those women will go bragging to her friends? It’s highly unlikely. She doesn’t want the dirty looks or the ridicule that would come from those that don’t understand. Women have been told most of their life to repress their sexual feelings. We’re not supposed to talk about sex, which leaves us feeling ashamed and confused because we have those feelings and experiences, but no one to talk to about them. Women are still sexually repressed and don’t understand their sexuality.
Most women don’t even understand orgasms, or have never really had one. Obviously, men don’t have this problem. They know what it is and how to achieve it. According to this study, 10-15% of women have NEVER had an orgasm. A good 30% have no idea where their clitoris is! In fact, more men in this study knew where the clitoris was than women. (Come on, ladies!) Check out this study and the really thoughtful comments. It may even prompt you to do some self-exploration, ladies… We can’t be scared of our bodies and learning what feels good. Once we learn what WE like, we can help our men to understand what we like. Again, as my husband says from time to time “You don’t know what night is because you’ve never seen day. You don’t know what bad is because you’ve never seen good.” If you don’t know what an orgasm is or how to achieve one, how do you know what you’re missing? ;)
I’m so glad that the world is changing, but it takes people a long time to be more accepting – or even ‘numb’ to things. Take all the celebrities and their sex scandals. Lots of women have a sex tape that has or eventually make its rounds. The first few were shocking! But the more it happens, the more we expect it. How many men have been with numerous women only to be forced to admit it years later? Sure, when it happens the first few times we as a society are SHOCKED. Truth is, it’s so common nowadays, we barely pay attention to it. “Oh, so-and-so slept with other women? Wonder how many come out to say they’ve been with him too.” And that’s the end of the discussion. It’s not as bothersome to us, we’ve been exposed to the scenarios and since it’s not the first one to ever happen, it doesn’t shock us. The more it happens, the more we’re expecting it to happen.
Women are incredibly sexy creatures but have been told by our families, friends, and society that we shouldn’t be sexual; there is so much confusion and no one to help them sort through it. The more women understand their sexuality and that it is perfectly FINE to be a sexual being, I think we’ll start to see more women opening their minds to relationships such as cuckolding or exploring fetishes as well as finding ways to spice things up a bit. Ladies, take long, good look at yourself. Do you enjoy sex? Would you enjoy MORE sex? What about having BETTER sex? In this day and age, we can’t be overly worried about what society or the public is going to think. In many cases, they’ll never know anything about our sex life! There are ways to have your cake and eat it too. You just have to look for them. ;)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Quick and painless...
It’s really easy to let things slip. Emails, returning phone calls, the laundry… all have a tendency to pile up if we don’t give it the attention it needs. If we’re not careful, we also start to neglect the really important stuff. Our health, our relationship… all can be really easy to push aside while we focus on other things.
It is always important to take the time to distress and relax, that’s why vacations are so important! (They keep us sane!) But it is also important to catch up and take care of those things that we let slip. That’s what I’m trying to do, catch up on things.
Some of you aren’t really aware, I’ve been thrown for a loop in the past month. (I’m not going into detail, so don’t ask.) Things still aren’t as straight as they need to be, but progress is being made. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Forgive me for letting life get in the way. Emails are almost cleared, updates are getting back on track. Things are returning to their normal pattern.
It is always important to take the time to distress and relax, that’s why vacations are so important! (They keep us sane!) But it is also important to catch up and take care of those things that we let slip. That’s what I’m trying to do, catch up on things.
Some of you aren’t really aware, I’ve been thrown for a loop in the past month. (I’m not going into detail, so don’t ask.) Things still aren’t as straight as they need to be, but progress is being made. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Forgive me for letting life get in the way. Emails are almost cleared, updates are getting back on track. Things are returning to their normal pattern.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hmm. This one ended up longer than I had planned!
If I say one thing but do another, that makes me a hypocrite. Right? So why would anyone say they believe in living a certain way, but live a completely opposite lifestyle? If you’re going to go around sharing your views and beliefs, then you had better commit to them. Let’s say you tell everyone that you’re a believer in spiritual healing. You would never even consider letting yourself or even one of your children have surgery if the need came about. For those people that refuse medical treatment (in the form of say, chemotherapy or radiation therapy, or even a non-life threatening surgery) and stay strong to their beliefs of spiritual healing, I praise you for sticking true to your beliefs, regardless of what everyone else thinks. But for those that claim they would go with spiritual healing regardless of the situation, and then decide that when some of their worst fears are staring them in the face, they really need medical intervention. While it may have been the smarter choice for their situation, if they go back to claiming they only want spiritual healing from then on, they have then stated one thing while living out different scenarios. Hypocrites.
Growing up, most of us are taught to believe that the man is the head of the household. What the man says, goes! Even if there are objections they shouldn’t be brought to light, it doesn’t matter because the man of the house made the decision and he shouldn’t be questioned… right? What happens to the women when we ask our men to do something? We expect it to be done. No reason to continue sitting on the couch watching TV, we asked our guy to take out the trash. How long until he hops up to his chore? When he doesn’t, we certainly give him an earful, letting him know exactly what we’re thinking. First of all, why isn’t the man making that decision? A woman’s place is to do what her man tells her, not order him around! (Yes, I realize that sounds incredibly sexist.) I’m willing to bet that in most homes, the lady is in charge, regardless of what we like everyone else to believe. So are we being hypocrites when we go around acting like the man is in charge, knowing good and well that behind closed doors we believe something different?
What about turning the other cheek? Say that last week you were explaining to your sister how she should forgive her best friend for talking about her behind her back. People like to gossip, and it’s not hard to admit, her friend was in the wrong, but why throw away 20 years of friendship over one gossipy comment? Then you go in to your place of work to find that one of your coworkers has been gossiping about you. This is a person you felt close to, you have lunch together nearly every day, send funny emails, listen to her rant about her crazy ex-husband or her dog. How could they betray you like that? You’ll never be able to forgive them! Again I say, what about turning the other cheek? If you are spouting those beliefs on someone you truly care about that means you should have no problems following them yourself, right? Or are you going to be a hypocrite and harbor the anger?
I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. I don’t care who does what, we all make our choices and have to deal with the consequences of those choices. I just don’t believe that you should walk around, passing judgement and forcing your beliefs and opinions on everyone when you can’t even live up to what you believe.
I fully believe in and cherish my cuckolding lifestyle. I love the dynamic between my husband and I, we really understand each other in ways that I never had with any other relationship. I’m sure it makes some people sick to see us together because we are usually so happy and in love, you know… one of those couples. Yes, I know that not everyone can live this lifestyle successfully, I know that it’s not right for every couple. But I truly believe there’s no way to have this level of happiness unless you can be totally and completely honest with each other. None of the ‘PC’ talk as to not offend or upset them, you just lay it out on the line. It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary.
You can’t hold back because you’re scared you’re going to upset the other person. If they get mad about it or hurt, at least your feelings are known. “Hey, honey? I just wanted to let you know that I’m not particularly fond of your moustache.” Or what about “You could stand to lose about ten pounds.” You probably would never dream of saying such things to your loved one’s face, but what if you actually felt that way? It may shock them to hear it… they may even be upset (if you don’t currently have a habit of saying what’s on your mind). Now whether they decide they want to shave off the moustache or the pounds is up to them, but at least they know your feelings on the situation.
Let’s take it one step further. “Sweetie, I can tell when we’re having sex that you’re just not into it. Am I not giving you what you need sexually?” Or something along the lines of “You’re great in the sack, but it’s still not enough. Can we have sex more? I have these urges and needs, honey…” Wow, that changes things a bit huh… we don’t feel comfortable talking about sex, sometimes even in the bedroom or with our partner. Sex has always been a dirty or taboo topic, you just deal with what you can get from your partner. If we’re the ones having sex (even if it isn’t as often as we’d like), why can’t we make ourselves comfortable talking about it? It would make us feel better to finally say what’s on our mind, what’s been bothering us, and could very well make a needed or desired change with your sex life. How is that honesty a negative thing?
You may not understand why or how you could be this way, but you have to understand that no relationship is the same. Two people together may have some similarities to another couple, but no couple is EXACTLY the same. You have to live your life the way YOU want to, what’s comfortable and best for you.
I can offer my point of view and suggestions to try to help those that are interested, but in the end don’t let anyone tell you that you have to live a certain way. Not a group of friends, your religion, or your family. People feel like they are forced into a way of living or thinking because of how society will look at them… would you rather be miserable and have everyone look at you like one of the other sheep, or would you rather be happy and not care how you are seen? Do what makes you happy and feels right (without causing pain and suffering to others). General good words to live by, don’t you think? :)
Growing up, most of us are taught to believe that the man is the head of the household. What the man says, goes! Even if there are objections they shouldn’t be brought to light, it doesn’t matter because the man of the house made the decision and he shouldn’t be questioned… right? What happens to the women when we ask our men to do something? We expect it to be done. No reason to continue sitting on the couch watching TV, we asked our guy to take out the trash. How long until he hops up to his chore? When he doesn’t, we certainly give him an earful, letting him know exactly what we’re thinking. First of all, why isn’t the man making that decision? A woman’s place is to do what her man tells her, not order him around! (Yes, I realize that sounds incredibly sexist.) I’m willing to bet that in most homes, the lady is in charge, regardless of what we like everyone else to believe. So are we being hypocrites when we go around acting like the man is in charge, knowing good and well that behind closed doors we believe something different?
What about turning the other cheek? Say that last week you were explaining to your sister how she should forgive her best friend for talking about her behind her back. People like to gossip, and it’s not hard to admit, her friend was in the wrong, but why throw away 20 years of friendship over one gossipy comment? Then you go in to your place of work to find that one of your coworkers has been gossiping about you. This is a person you felt close to, you have lunch together nearly every day, send funny emails, listen to her rant about her crazy ex-husband or her dog. How could they betray you like that? You’ll never be able to forgive them! Again I say, what about turning the other cheek? If you are spouting those beliefs on someone you truly care about that means you should have no problems following them yourself, right? Or are you going to be a hypocrite and harbor the anger?
I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. I don’t care who does what, we all make our choices and have to deal with the consequences of those choices. I just don’t believe that you should walk around, passing judgement and forcing your beliefs and opinions on everyone when you can’t even live up to what you believe.
I fully believe in and cherish my cuckolding lifestyle. I love the dynamic between my husband and I, we really understand each other in ways that I never had with any other relationship. I’m sure it makes some people sick to see us together because we are usually so happy and in love, you know… one of those couples. Yes, I know that not everyone can live this lifestyle successfully, I know that it’s not right for every couple. But I truly believe there’s no way to have this level of happiness unless you can be totally and completely honest with each other. None of the ‘PC’ talk as to not offend or upset them, you just lay it out on the line. It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary.
You can’t hold back because you’re scared you’re going to upset the other person. If they get mad about it or hurt, at least your feelings are known. “Hey, honey? I just wanted to let you know that I’m not particularly fond of your moustache.” Or what about “You could stand to lose about ten pounds.” You probably would never dream of saying such things to your loved one’s face, but what if you actually felt that way? It may shock them to hear it… they may even be upset (if you don’t currently have a habit of saying what’s on your mind). Now whether they decide they want to shave off the moustache or the pounds is up to them, but at least they know your feelings on the situation.
Let’s take it one step further. “Sweetie, I can tell when we’re having sex that you’re just not into it. Am I not giving you what you need sexually?” Or something along the lines of “You’re great in the sack, but it’s still not enough. Can we have sex more? I have these urges and needs, honey…” Wow, that changes things a bit huh… we don’t feel comfortable talking about sex, sometimes even in the bedroom or with our partner. Sex has always been a dirty or taboo topic, you just deal with what you can get from your partner. If we’re the ones having sex (even if it isn’t as often as we’d like), why can’t we make ourselves comfortable talking about it? It would make us feel better to finally say what’s on our mind, what’s been bothering us, and could very well make a needed or desired change with your sex life. How is that honesty a negative thing?
You may not understand why or how you could be this way, but you have to understand that no relationship is the same. Two people together may have some similarities to another couple, but no couple is EXACTLY the same. You have to live your life the way YOU want to, what’s comfortable and best for you.
I can offer my point of view and suggestions to try to help those that are interested, but in the end don’t let anyone tell you that you have to live a certain way. Not a group of friends, your religion, or your family. People feel like they are forced into a way of living or thinking because of how society will look at them… would you rather be miserable and have everyone look at you like one of the other sheep, or would you rather be happy and not care how you are seen? Do what makes you happy and feels right (without causing pain and suffering to others). General good words to live by, don’t you think? :)
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Are you brave enough to try it?
Imagine finding someone that loves you for everything you are, as the saying goes ‘warts and all’. What if part of who you are is a woman with a very high sex drive? Sure, men think about sex just as much as a woman does. But are they up to the task of satisfying you? Can they keep your sexual appetite in check?
Believe it or not, there are so many men that are looking for a woman to love them and cuckold them at the same time. I get many emails from such men, hoping that I have a friend interested in a similar lifestyle that I lead. Much to their dismay, I don’t have many single friends… but I have started pointing them in the direction of a specific website, hotwifedating.com. It’s a website that basically caters to the hotwifing/cuckolding lifestyle, a site where hotwives, bulls, or cucks can go find a “match” for their current situation.
In talking with the webmaster of hotwifedating.com, he agrees that there are not enough women that are aware of this lifestyle. It’s one that so many men want their wives to have, to enjoy to the fullest, yet many women are oblivious to the fact that it even exists. There are many hotwives and cuckoldresses that are able to find as many bulls as they’d like, but what about those women that have a high sex drive and may be single? Those women that certainly would enjoy having their sexual freedom, but also having a man to care about, to love, and that loves them back, that’s completely willing to let her go and have sex with as many men as she pleases. Where do we find those ladies?
That’s really hard to answer. A lot of women grow up not really talking about their sexuality, or being told that due to their religious upbringing, sex is something you’ll figure out when the time is right. But you’re ONLY supposed to have sex with that ONE person for the rest of your life, like it or not. It’s really hard to break the ideas that you’ve been force-fed most of your life. Even if a woman doesn’t really feel that way inside, she has to act like it for the sake of society. We’re not supposed to ‘rock the boat’ or be the one seen as different and scandalous! What if your flirty, trampy behavior gets back to your boyfriend or husband?!
What I would like for women to realize is, you don’t have to sneak around and hide what you’re doing. When you’re trying to be secretive and hiding things, you’re more on edge and always paranoid. How can you be happy if you’re constantly worrying? You don’t need to feel like you have to hide it! There are so many men out there that want nothing more than to have someone to love and treat like a princess, that will go out and be with as many men as she desires. You CAN have your cake and eat it too! And then have some brownies and pie and ice cream, and as many other deserts as you’d like. ;)
Ladies, don’t feel like you need to be restricted or hide who you truly are. Once you realize you can be honest and open about everything in your heart and mind, you’ll start to see the changes in yourself – and you’re bound to feel better than ever. Don’t you want a cuck of your own?
Believe it or not, there are so many men that are looking for a woman to love them and cuckold them at the same time. I get many emails from such men, hoping that I have a friend interested in a similar lifestyle that I lead. Much to their dismay, I don’t have many single friends… but I have started pointing them in the direction of a specific website, hotwifedating.com. It’s a website that basically caters to the hotwifing/cuckolding lifestyle, a site where hotwives, bulls, or cucks can go find a “match” for their current situation.
In talking with the webmaster of hotwifedating.com, he agrees that there are not enough women that are aware of this lifestyle. It’s one that so many men want their wives to have, to enjoy to the fullest, yet many women are oblivious to the fact that it even exists. There are many hotwives and cuckoldresses that are able to find as many bulls as they’d like, but what about those women that have a high sex drive and may be single? Those women that certainly would enjoy having their sexual freedom, but also having a man to care about, to love, and that loves them back, that’s completely willing to let her go and have sex with as many men as she pleases. Where do we find those ladies?
That’s really hard to answer. A lot of women grow up not really talking about their sexuality, or being told that due to their religious upbringing, sex is something you’ll figure out when the time is right. But you’re ONLY supposed to have sex with that ONE person for the rest of your life, like it or not. It’s really hard to break the ideas that you’ve been force-fed most of your life. Even if a woman doesn’t really feel that way inside, she has to act like it for the sake of society. We’re not supposed to ‘rock the boat’ or be the one seen as different and scandalous! What if your flirty, trampy behavior gets back to your boyfriend or husband?!
What I would like for women to realize is, you don’t have to sneak around and hide what you’re doing. When you’re trying to be secretive and hiding things, you’re more on edge and always paranoid. How can you be happy if you’re constantly worrying? You don’t need to feel like you have to hide it! There are so many men out there that want nothing more than to have someone to love and treat like a princess, that will go out and be with as many men as she desires. You CAN have your cake and eat it too! And then have some brownies and pie and ice cream, and as many other deserts as you’d like. ;)
Ladies, don’t feel like you need to be restricted or hide who you truly are. Once you realize you can be honest and open about everything in your heart and mind, you’ll start to see the changes in yourself – and you’re bound to feel better than ever. Don’t you want a cuck of your own?
Friday, May 7, 2010
How I do it.
Some people just don’t understand the ‘world inside my head’. It’s ok, I fully understand and respect that people don’t think the same ways. And, as was mentioned in my last post, I honestly would just like all people to have an open-minded approach to new things, not be so quick to judge.
I had a very wonderful phone conversation with Dr. David Ley, author of Insatiable Wives, the women who stray and the men who love them. One of his questions wanted me to basically give him an explanation of how our everyday life worked. My response was basically this, we’re a very normal couple and lead a very normal life. We still wake up, go to work, do housework, make meals, watch a little tv, and go to bed. The only thing that differs in our lives is, sometimes I go and meet a guy during the day (more on how I meet them later) or I will go out and meet a guy later in the evening. When I’ve had my fun, I come home and talk to my husband about it when we have our personal “sex” time. No secrets, nothing kept from each other. It’s a normal, everyday life, with a bit of cuckolding thrown in at the appropriate times.
I’ve said many times over, I’m not the type of person that wants a “relationship” with those I’m having sex with. Relationships are (in my opinion) sticky, and completely INVOLVED. I throw my all into a relationship, every bit of emotional attachment. I don’t need attachments with fifteen different guys, because that would lessen the experience, not only for me but for them as well. I have all the emotional attachment I could ever need with my husband. He “gets” me, inside and out. There’s no worry that he wouldn’t be able to fulfill my emotional needs and I would have to look for some kind of fulfillment elsewhere. That being said, I know of MANY women that I’ve personally talked to that prefer to go the boyfriend route with their cuckolding experience. They want that attachment, they want that connection. They have emotional needs that aren’t always met in one place, so they look for fulfillment elsewhere. Now for me, I can separate sex and attachment. Sex is purely physical, it’s a physical act between two (or more) people. Attachment is on a different level. I’ve never really had a hard time separating the two, but again there are those out there that only want to have sex with someone they have a connection with. I’m not one of those ladies.
My process for meeting a guy isn’t an easy one. There are many “hoops” to jump through! Like I said earlier, sometimes I will meet a guy during the day (for sex), or sometimes its late in the evening. I always take my time before meeting someone new. I talk to them over email and sometimes on the phone, until I feel comfortable with them, and even sometimes we will have face-to-face meetings (in non-sexual atmospheres) just to see what the other is about. To me, that’s not trying to find the proverbial “spark” for a connection, that’s just common sense to see if any red flags are raised from meeting. You can’t always get a good feel for someone over email or the phone. Plus, they may look absolutely NOTHING like what they told you (or the pictures they’ve sent). ;)
After I’m out with these guys, I always look forward to coming home. Some couples call this a “reclaiming period”; going back to the one you love. And honestly, a lot of the time when I’m coming through the door my husband is already asleep. Don’t take that to mean that he’s not excited or hadn’t been eagerly awaiting my return. My going out is so normal for us, I keep him updated with texts here and there, and he usually jerks off and is calm, and can go to sleep. He knows that if I need anything I will call or text, and tell him immediately. But as a man that works two jobs (his regular day-job, then coming home to help me out with our business), he needs his rest. There are some nights that he is able to wait up on me, and those nights are always a little more intense. We talk about what I did that evening, things in our pasts, fantasies we’ve had or thoughts that have ran through our minds… yes, sometimes we do have intercourse, but other times it’s me talking to him while one of us jerks him off. Never underestimate the power of mental stimulation. That’s our sex life in a nutshell.
After sex, be it with my husband or any other guy, things go back to our normal, everyday life. Our dynamic doesn’t change because I got laid that night… the laundry is still going to be there to wash, the bills still need to get paid, and hubby is still going to ask for 5 more minutes to sleep in before I kick his butt out of bed and make him get ready for work. This transition (between Cuckoldress and everyday Jinxy) isn’t even noticed anymore, I’m not worried that my husband is harboring these weird feelings about our situation, nor is he (usually) worried that he’s freaked me out with something we talked about during sex. We know that the lines of communication are never closed.
This may seem overwhelming; you may be scratching your head wondering how it could all seem so easy! Well, I’m a very lucky woman to be married to such a loving and understanding man. He’s been patient with me as I figured out exactly who I am, and what I want in life. We’ve helped each other to grow, and to understand how the other views things. I get to have the incredible sex life that I crave, seeing as many different men as I wish, all the while having a supportive husband who is everything I could ever need in every way except the bedroom.
I had a very wonderful phone conversation with Dr. David Ley, author of Insatiable Wives, the women who stray and the men who love them. One of his questions wanted me to basically give him an explanation of how our everyday life worked. My response was basically this, we’re a very normal couple and lead a very normal life. We still wake up, go to work, do housework, make meals, watch a little tv, and go to bed. The only thing that differs in our lives is, sometimes I go and meet a guy during the day (more on how I meet them later) or I will go out and meet a guy later in the evening. When I’ve had my fun, I come home and talk to my husband about it when we have our personal “sex” time. No secrets, nothing kept from each other. It’s a normal, everyday life, with a bit of cuckolding thrown in at the appropriate times.
I’ve said many times over, I’m not the type of person that wants a “relationship” with those I’m having sex with. Relationships are (in my opinion) sticky, and completely INVOLVED. I throw my all into a relationship, every bit of emotional attachment. I don’t need attachments with fifteen different guys, because that would lessen the experience, not only for me but for them as well. I have all the emotional attachment I could ever need with my husband. He “gets” me, inside and out. There’s no worry that he wouldn’t be able to fulfill my emotional needs and I would have to look for some kind of fulfillment elsewhere. That being said, I know of MANY women that I’ve personally talked to that prefer to go the boyfriend route with their cuckolding experience. They want that attachment, they want that connection. They have emotional needs that aren’t always met in one place, so they look for fulfillment elsewhere. Now for me, I can separate sex and attachment. Sex is purely physical, it’s a physical act between two (or more) people. Attachment is on a different level. I’ve never really had a hard time separating the two, but again there are those out there that only want to have sex with someone they have a connection with. I’m not one of those ladies.
My process for meeting a guy isn’t an easy one. There are many “hoops” to jump through! Like I said earlier, sometimes I will meet a guy during the day (for sex), or sometimes its late in the evening. I always take my time before meeting someone new. I talk to them over email and sometimes on the phone, until I feel comfortable with them, and even sometimes we will have face-to-face meetings (in non-sexual atmospheres) just to see what the other is about. To me, that’s not trying to find the proverbial “spark” for a connection, that’s just common sense to see if any red flags are raised from meeting. You can’t always get a good feel for someone over email or the phone. Plus, they may look absolutely NOTHING like what they told you (or the pictures they’ve sent). ;)
After I’m out with these guys, I always look forward to coming home. Some couples call this a “reclaiming period”; going back to the one you love. And honestly, a lot of the time when I’m coming through the door my husband is already asleep. Don’t take that to mean that he’s not excited or hadn’t been eagerly awaiting my return. My going out is so normal for us, I keep him updated with texts here and there, and he usually jerks off and is calm, and can go to sleep. He knows that if I need anything I will call or text, and tell him immediately. But as a man that works two jobs (his regular day-job, then coming home to help me out with our business), he needs his rest. There are some nights that he is able to wait up on me, and those nights are always a little more intense. We talk about what I did that evening, things in our pasts, fantasies we’ve had or thoughts that have ran through our minds… yes, sometimes we do have intercourse, but other times it’s me talking to him while one of us jerks him off. Never underestimate the power of mental stimulation. That’s our sex life in a nutshell.
After sex, be it with my husband or any other guy, things go back to our normal, everyday life. Our dynamic doesn’t change because I got laid that night… the laundry is still going to be there to wash, the bills still need to get paid, and hubby is still going to ask for 5 more minutes to sleep in before I kick his butt out of bed and make him get ready for work. This transition (between Cuckoldress and everyday Jinxy) isn’t even noticed anymore, I’m not worried that my husband is harboring these weird feelings about our situation, nor is he (usually) worried that he’s freaked me out with something we talked about during sex. We know that the lines of communication are never closed.
This may seem overwhelming; you may be scratching your head wondering how it could all seem so easy! Well, I’m a very lucky woman to be married to such a loving and understanding man. He’s been patient with me as I figured out exactly who I am, and what I want in life. We’ve helped each other to grow, and to understand how the other views things. I get to have the incredible sex life that I crave, seeing as many different men as I wish, all the while having a supportive husband who is everything I could ever need in every way except the bedroom.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
'Strange is just a different point of view...'
Co-written by Jinxypie and her Hub.
In all reality, most people look at things differently. In your circle of friends you have things in common and all get along great. What most people don’t see is how everyone perceives things just a little differently. Let’s say while discussing some piece of news or something considered gossip, you all take a different view on the subject. While most of the time you give the topic at hand no more than a few seconds of conscious thought, there are instances when you realize that you are uncomfortable, amused, interested or even shocked by the topic. In these situations no one person is right or wrong, everyone is raised differently in many different surroundings or came to their own conclusions about these subjects, many times without ever being exposed to them personally.
Please remember I am using these following examples as purely that - “examples”. I don’t condone, condemn, or for the most part even form an opinion about the specific subjects mentioned. I simply want you to look at a few “trendy” instances of how cultures and societies are slightly and sometimes dramatically different with an open mind and I’ll get to the point sooner or later.
In Iran, any suntanned woman will be imprisoned. As an American woman, and an extremely fair-skinned one at that, I couldn’t imagine being told by my government that I cannot use a tanning bed anymore, or even tan outside my own home. The fine for such debauchery is imprisonment. Yet most of you women get up every morning and head out of the house without ever thinking about covering up every inch of your exposed skin. You are probably thinking ‘Wow that is unbelievable! How could a woman be mistreated like that? I could never live that way. I have my beliefs and that is incomprehensible.’ If that’s what you thought then you’re not getting the idea here. What you need to do in this situation is think of how these women who live this way every day and have no problems with it would think of YOU. How would they be able to wrap their heads around the idea of each of you whoreish women who show their faces, arms, and maybe even ankles in public? Not to mention those of us who bare more than that. Do you see what I’m getting at? Most of you are being judged right now for things you consider completely normal. Granted, these people don’t know your names or who you are but we as a society are being judged nonetheless by others for doing everyday mundane tasks like wearing a pair of shorts. It’s all about perception!
How about this? The legal drinking age in Canada is (depending on the territory and province) 18 or 19 years. There’s no minimum drinking age in Ireland as long as you’re with a parent and not in a public place. In the United Kingdom, you may drink alcohol at age 5 in private, at age 16 in a public place as long as it’s with a meal and you’re accompanied by an adult, or otherwise at age 18. In the United States, the ripe age of 21 years is the magic number for legally drinking and purchasing alcoholic beverages. After reading this I’m confident that the majority of you knew that the legal drinking ages in other countries varied, I’m also pretty certain that at least half of you knew that in some countries children could drink legally. So the aforementioned statement didn’t shock you. I am also sure the other half of you had never given it a second thought, and if asked would have probably assumed that the legal age to consume alcohol in different parts of the world was somewhere in the vicinity of 21. This is what I would like you to focus on. As humans we tend to assume things based on what we have been exposed to, never putting a second thought into the subtle behaviors of others that are inclined to different ways of thinking. If any of those people that were shocked to learn this information were to visit the UK and noticed a 16 year old drinking a beer, they would most likely wait to see if the police came to arrest the parent for child abuse. The idea here is don’t always assume things of others just because you haven’t seen them do it. This goes for anything, not just drinking a beer.
What about nudity on television? Ever watched British TV and saw a little more than you expected? They aren’t as worried about someone seeing a woman’s breasts or someone’s buttocks on a television show. Keep in mind this is on regular programming, not HBO or Cinemax. Imagine watching an episode of Friends in which Phoebe decides she wants to be a stripper and does! Remember the infamous Super Bowl Halftime Show in which Justin Timberlake “accidentally” exposed Janet Jackson’s breast? That caused lots of pressure on the FCC to set restrictions and use higher “moral standards”. Before you start thinking I’m advocating nudity on sitcoms ask yourself this; do you know someone from the UK, ever dated a French person, or had a neighbor from Australia? Did you think these people were sex crazed lunatics? Did you rush your children inside the house the second they walked down the street, or alert the local schools that there were predators lurking nearby? Why not? These people have been exposed to nudity on television and in books since a very young age there must be something wrong with them, right? If you didn’t know this information about these other countries are you going to report them now? I ask again why not? Because, there is nothing wrong with these people. They live the same as everybody else. These countries produce lawyers, doctors, gas station attendants, murders, momma’s boys, and thieves just like all the rest. Just because you were raised a certain way doesn’t always make it the correct way, just as much as it doesn’t make it the wrong way either. Always question a line of thinking before automatically putting it in the bad column. You don’t think badly of a person doing something that is completely normal in their own culture, yet some people think horribly of a person doing something different within their own culture.
One more, if you don’t mind. You drive on which side of the road? Some countries have you driving on the right side of the road, others on the left. It all is left up to where you are in the world. When you grow up only knowing one way to do things, it’s really foreign to you to think about doing it any other way. But what happens when you travel? It’s a bit of a shock, to have your whole way of thinking turned all around. You’re extremely conscious of what you’re doing, you pay closer attention to everything happening around you, and you feel frustrated. You get behind the wheel of a car and you suddenly have a one track mind -- “Stay on the wrong side of the road”. Where am I going with this one, you ask? Well, being around something different is, for the lack of a better word, different. You may think it’s fun or interesting, or you may just hate it. If you experience the latter you may say things like “I’m never getting used to this, I hate it!” or “I’m going to sit in my hotel and just not be around it, you can keep your backwards cars”. If, however you are willing to forego the discontent of this new thing that has just turned your world upside down, the strangest thing will happened. You will get used to it. You may never fully love driving on the opposite side of the road but you will become ok with it. You might even learn to find good things about it, for instance maybe they let you make a left on red or you learned how to shift with your left hand and can show off to all your friends back home. The theory here is; just because you were suddenly exposed to something shocking and you feel like you can never get past it, with a little time and a willingness to learn and not hide from it, after a while you will be ok and not be able to remember why you were so angry in the first place. Plus as an added bonus you may learn something along the way!
What have we learned here? That we’re all really STRANGE! No, that’s not it. That what others may consider NORMAL may in fact be WEIRD to us (and vice versa). Maybe to look at the other side of the coin before you pass judgment. Something that may seem incredibly unheard of or unreal may be the way that people have to, or choose to, live their lives. Most importantly we have learned that nothing in life is every really cut and dry and as people we have to be more understanding of the choices and beliefs of others.
And now without further delay, my point;
Hello, my name is Jinxypie; I have sex on a regular basis with men that aren’t my husband. I am truly in love with my husband but I enjoy the sexual satisfaction of multiple men in varying numbers. My husband knows and encourages what I do and loves me for it. I teach others about this way of life through blogs, videos, and email correspondence. Oh and I also have a website in which I showcase what I do in the form of pornographic videos and images, and that’s just scratching the surface…
What do you think about that?
In all reality, most people look at things differently. In your circle of friends you have things in common and all get along great. What most people don’t see is how everyone perceives things just a little differently. Let’s say while discussing some piece of news or something considered gossip, you all take a different view on the subject. While most of the time you give the topic at hand no more than a few seconds of conscious thought, there are instances when you realize that you are uncomfortable, amused, interested or even shocked by the topic. In these situations no one person is right or wrong, everyone is raised differently in many different surroundings or came to their own conclusions about these subjects, many times without ever being exposed to them personally.
Please remember I am using these following examples as purely that - “examples”. I don’t condone, condemn, or for the most part even form an opinion about the specific subjects mentioned. I simply want you to look at a few “trendy” instances of how cultures and societies are slightly and sometimes dramatically different with an open mind and I’ll get to the point sooner or later.
In Iran, any suntanned woman will be imprisoned. As an American woman, and an extremely fair-skinned one at that, I couldn’t imagine being told by my government that I cannot use a tanning bed anymore, or even tan outside my own home. The fine for such debauchery is imprisonment. Yet most of you women get up every morning and head out of the house without ever thinking about covering up every inch of your exposed skin. You are probably thinking ‘Wow that is unbelievable! How could a woman be mistreated like that? I could never live that way. I have my beliefs and that is incomprehensible.’ If that’s what you thought then you’re not getting the idea here. What you need to do in this situation is think of how these women who live this way every day and have no problems with it would think of YOU. How would they be able to wrap their heads around the idea of each of you whoreish women who show their faces, arms, and maybe even ankles in public? Not to mention those of us who bare more than that. Do you see what I’m getting at? Most of you are being judged right now for things you consider completely normal. Granted, these people don’t know your names or who you are but we as a society are being judged nonetheless by others for doing everyday mundane tasks like wearing a pair of shorts. It’s all about perception!
How about this? The legal drinking age in Canada is (depending on the territory and province) 18 or 19 years. There’s no minimum drinking age in Ireland as long as you’re with a parent and not in a public place. In the United Kingdom, you may drink alcohol at age 5 in private, at age 16 in a public place as long as it’s with a meal and you’re accompanied by an adult, or otherwise at age 18. In the United States, the ripe age of 21 years is the magic number for legally drinking and purchasing alcoholic beverages. After reading this I’m confident that the majority of you knew that the legal drinking ages in other countries varied, I’m also pretty certain that at least half of you knew that in some countries children could drink legally. So the aforementioned statement didn’t shock you. I am also sure the other half of you had never given it a second thought, and if asked would have probably assumed that the legal age to consume alcohol in different parts of the world was somewhere in the vicinity of 21. This is what I would like you to focus on. As humans we tend to assume things based on what we have been exposed to, never putting a second thought into the subtle behaviors of others that are inclined to different ways of thinking. If any of those people that were shocked to learn this information were to visit the UK and noticed a 16 year old drinking a beer, they would most likely wait to see if the police came to arrest the parent for child abuse. The idea here is don’t always assume things of others just because you haven’t seen them do it. This goes for anything, not just drinking a beer.
What about nudity on television? Ever watched British TV and saw a little more than you expected? They aren’t as worried about someone seeing a woman’s breasts or someone’s buttocks on a television show. Keep in mind this is on regular programming, not HBO or Cinemax. Imagine watching an episode of Friends in which Phoebe decides she wants to be a stripper and does! Remember the infamous Super Bowl Halftime Show in which Justin Timberlake “accidentally” exposed Janet Jackson’s breast? That caused lots of pressure on the FCC to set restrictions and use higher “moral standards”. Before you start thinking I’m advocating nudity on sitcoms ask yourself this; do you know someone from the UK, ever dated a French person, or had a neighbor from Australia? Did you think these people were sex crazed lunatics? Did you rush your children inside the house the second they walked down the street, or alert the local schools that there were predators lurking nearby? Why not? These people have been exposed to nudity on television and in books since a very young age there must be something wrong with them, right? If you didn’t know this information about these other countries are you going to report them now? I ask again why not? Because, there is nothing wrong with these people. They live the same as everybody else. These countries produce lawyers, doctors, gas station attendants, murders, momma’s boys, and thieves just like all the rest. Just because you were raised a certain way doesn’t always make it the correct way, just as much as it doesn’t make it the wrong way either. Always question a line of thinking before automatically putting it in the bad column. You don’t think badly of a person doing something that is completely normal in their own culture, yet some people think horribly of a person doing something different within their own culture.
One more, if you don’t mind. You drive on which side of the road? Some countries have you driving on the right side of the road, others on the left. It all is left up to where you are in the world. When you grow up only knowing one way to do things, it’s really foreign to you to think about doing it any other way. But what happens when you travel? It’s a bit of a shock, to have your whole way of thinking turned all around. You’re extremely conscious of what you’re doing, you pay closer attention to everything happening around you, and you feel frustrated. You get behind the wheel of a car and you suddenly have a one track mind -- “Stay on the wrong side of the road”. Where am I going with this one, you ask? Well, being around something different is, for the lack of a better word, different. You may think it’s fun or interesting, or you may just hate it. If you experience the latter you may say things like “I’m never getting used to this, I hate it!” or “I’m going to sit in my hotel and just not be around it, you can keep your backwards cars”. If, however you are willing to forego the discontent of this new thing that has just turned your world upside down, the strangest thing will happened. You will get used to it. You may never fully love driving on the opposite side of the road but you will become ok with it. You might even learn to find good things about it, for instance maybe they let you make a left on red or you learned how to shift with your left hand and can show off to all your friends back home. The theory here is; just because you were suddenly exposed to something shocking and you feel like you can never get past it, with a little time and a willingness to learn and not hide from it, after a while you will be ok and not be able to remember why you were so angry in the first place. Plus as an added bonus you may learn something along the way!
What have we learned here? That we’re all really STRANGE! No, that’s not it. That what others may consider NORMAL may in fact be WEIRD to us (and vice versa). Maybe to look at the other side of the coin before you pass judgment. Something that may seem incredibly unheard of or unreal may be the way that people have to, or choose to, live their lives. Most importantly we have learned that nothing in life is every really cut and dry and as people we have to be more understanding of the choices and beliefs of others.
And now without further delay, my point;
Hello, my name is Jinxypie; I have sex on a regular basis with men that aren’t my husband. I am truly in love with my husband but I enjoy the sexual satisfaction of multiple men in varying numbers. My husband knows and encourages what I do and loves me for it. I teach others about this way of life through blogs, videos, and email correspondence. Oh and I also have a website in which I showcase what I do in the form of pornographic videos and images, and that’s just scratching the surface…
What do you think about that?
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