How I do it.

Some people just don’t understand the ‘world inside my head’.  It’s ok, I fully understand and respect that people don’t think the same ways.  And, as was mentioned in my last post, I honestly would just like all people to have an open-minded approach to new things, not be so quick to judge. 

I had a very wonderful phone conversation with Dr. David Ley, author of Insatiable Wives, the women who stray and the men who love them. One of his questions wanted me to basically give him an explanation of how our everyday life worked.  My response was basically this, we’re a very normal couple and lead a very normal life.  We still wake up, go to work, do housework, make meals, watch a little tv, and go to bed.  The only thing that differs in our lives is, sometimes I go and meet a guy during the day (more on how I meet them later) or I will go out and meet a guy later in the evening. When I’ve had my fun, I come home and talk to my husband about it when we have our personal “sex” time.  No secrets, nothing kept from each other. It’s a normal, everyday life, with a bit of cuckolding thrown in at the appropriate times. 

I’ve said many times over, I’m not the type of person that wants a “relationship” with those I’m having sex with.  Relationships are (in my opinion) sticky, and completely INVOLVED.  I throw my all into a relationship, every bit of emotional attachment.  I don’t need attachments with fifteen different guys, because that would lessen the experience, not only for me but for them as well.  I have all the emotional attachment I could ever need with my husband.  He “gets” me, inside and out.  There’s no worry that he wouldn’t be able to fulfill my emotional needs and I would have to look for some kind of fulfillment elsewhere.  That being said, I know of MANY women that I’ve personally talked to that prefer to go the boyfriend route with their cuckolding experience.  They want that attachment, they want that connection.  They have emotional needs that aren’t always met in one place, so they look for fulfillment elsewhere.  Now for me, I can separate sex and attachment.  Sex is purely physical, it’s a physical act between two (or more) people. Attachment is on a different level.  I’ve never really had a hard time separating the two, but again there are those out there that only want to have sex with someone they have a connection with.  I’m not one of those ladies. 

My process for meeting a guy isn’t an easy one.  There are many “hoops” to jump through!  Like I said earlier, sometimes I will meet a guy during the day (for sex), or sometimes its late in the evening.  I always take my time before meeting someone new.  I talk to them over email and sometimes on the phone, until I feel comfortable with them, and even sometimes we will have face-to-face meetings (in non-sexual atmospheres) just to see what the other is about. To me, that’s not trying to find the proverbial “spark” for a connection, that’s just common sense to see if any red flags are raised from meeting.  You can’t always get a good feel for someone over email or the phone.  Plus, they may look absolutely NOTHING like what they told you (or the pictures they’ve sent).  ;)

After I’m out with these guys, I always look forward to coming home.  Some couples call this a “reclaiming period”; going back to the one you love. And honestly, a lot of the time when I’m coming through the door my husband is already asleep.  Don’t take that to mean that he’s not excited or hadn’t been eagerly awaiting my return.  My going out is so normal for us, I keep him updated with texts here and there, and he usually jerks off and is calm, and can go to sleep.  He knows that if I need anything I will call or text, and tell him immediately.  But as a man that works two jobs (his regular day-job, then coming home to help me out with our business), he needs his rest.  There are some nights that he is able to wait up on me, and those nights are always a little more intense.  We talk about what I did that evening, things in our pasts, fantasies we’ve had or thoughts that have ran through our minds… yes, sometimes we do have intercourse, but other times it’s me talking to him while one of us jerks him off.  Never underestimate the power of mental stimulation. That’s our sex life in a nutshell.

After sex, be it with my husband or any other guy, things go back to our normal, everyday life.  Our dynamic doesn’t change because I got laid that night… the laundry is still going to be there to wash, the bills still need to get paid, and hubby is still going to ask for 5 more minutes to sleep in before I kick his butt out of bed and make him get ready for work.  This transition (between Cuckoldress and everyday Jinxy) isn’t even noticed anymore, I’m not worried that my husband is harboring these weird feelings about our situation, nor is he (usually) worried that he’s freaked me out with something we talked about during sex.  We know that the lines of communication are never closed.

This may seem overwhelming; you may be scratching your head wondering how it could all seem so easy! Well, I’m a very lucky woman to be married to such a loving and understanding man.  He’s been patient with me as I figured out exactly who I am, and what I want in life.  We’ve helped each other to grow, and to understand how the other views things.  I get to have the incredible sex life that I crave, seeing as many different men as I wish, all the while having a supportive husband who is everything I could ever need in every way except the bedroom.