Fetish Month Blog 3 - Humiliation.

Shame. Disgrace. Embarrassment.  Who would have thought that those feelings can cause emotional or sexual arousal? 

I believe that the goal with erotic humiliation isn’t scarring someone for life.  It’s meant to be an exchange of power, with the more dominant partner causing a loss of inhibition with her partner, the submissive (or cuck) is willingly giving up control of themselves; it’s quite the mind game and really intimate.   It brings in a bit of the “unknown” and vulnerability, making things playful and fun, and causing a rush of endorphins that creates an amazing arousal to the situation. 

Most people involved with a humiliation fetish have high stress and high maintenance jobs.  (Same could be said about cucks.)  Humiliation is meant to make you question yourself, to really evaluate who you are and what makes you tick sexually, and to explore the avenues that may frighten you. Cucks/submissives crave the ability to lose control, to give up a part of themselves and not have to make any major decisions, not have to even think.  They are told what to do, they are told (even in a playful situation) what their Mistress thinks of them, what she wants, etc. 

I read a really good article written about humiliation, and I encourage you all to read it as well if you are interested in the fetish.  Something the author says really made me think.  She created her own definition of humiliation, as it relates to a fetish:  To objectify, encouraging the embrace of parts of themselves not normally celebrated.  Think about it… you’re telling your man that he has a small penis.  Shameful?  Sure, if he feels that way about it.  But you’re also encouraging him to embrace his small endowment.  (Haha, not in the literal sense, but I guess that works too.)  I think sometimes that can work in the reverse, too.  Take me, for example.  Sometimes I really enjoy being called a slut.  I’m embracing that part of myself that many people frown upon.  It may be a derogatory term to many, but I find it hot… it makes me feel powerful, in a sense. 

There are two main types of humiliation, physical and emotional.  Physical humiliation can come in the form of cross-dressing (this is even more humiliating if the cuck or submissive is dressed as the opposite gender in public), spanking, whipping, or other types of restraints such as chastity belts, forced anal penetration, role playing, and more.  Emotional humiliation is an extremely mental and intimate act.  Verbal belittlement and insults, being forced to ask permission to do simple tasks, mockery - it can also be visual. Watching another man having sex with your wife is quite humiliating, on multiple levels!    

So many men have written to me, asking advice on how to help their wives or girlfriends understand what this fetish means for them.  How can it be exciting to hear how you don’t satisfy your woman, or that you prefer a more endowed man than your own cuck?  It’s really difficult for women to grasp, and honestly it took me a while to even start to understand it.  You tell a woman that she’s bad at sex, or that her breasts are too small, or she is only good for cleaning house – and most likely she’ll be out the door so fast your head will spin.  For us, humiliation isn’t fun.  It hurts.  How do you expect us to willingly humiliate our guy?  Won’t it hurt him too?  …the answer is, yes it will hurt, but it has the opportunity to “hurt so good”.  If your cuck is into the humiliation fetish, hearing those things will excite him beyond anything you can ever imagine.  First, both parties need to discuss where the limits lie.  I have personally spoken with a few men that have their “list”… things they absolutely WON’T do or tolerate.  For one in particular, you do not call him stupid or dumb, or anything like.  That is the end-all.  It’s fine to make him wear panties, clean-up duty, housework, whatever – just never call him stupid.  When limits like that are so clearly painted, you realize you have so many avenues to explore!  Now that the lines are drawn, you can start taking baby steps.  If you start off with verbal, then choose the phrases you discussed.  As you get more comfortable with it, branch out on your own and come up with new words or phrases to get him going.  Eventually you may move on to physical humiliations of your choosing.  Just remember to keep having open discussions on this outside of ‘play time’ so you can make sure you’re not doing any damage.  Humiliation, while being an intimate and intense fetish, can also scar pretty badly if there’s no regard for those limits.

Now, let’s not confuse those damaging feelings with angst.  After a cuck has reached orgasm, he will usually lose all his willingness to participate in cuckoldry.  He needs love, reassurances, even some cuddling!  It’s only a matter of time (sometimes a few minutes, or up to a few days) before he comes back around and is in cuck-mode, ready for some more of the pleasure that comes with the fun of cuckoldry and cuckold angst.   

As a cuck (or Cuckoldress), do you enjoy the humiliation fetish?  If not, is it something you wish you participated in?